When your sick, you have a lot more to time to think. You end up thinking so much, that, you run out of things to think about. Thats when you know that you've been sick for too long.
Well,
I've been sick lately. But I'm getting better. But, when I was sick, I thought about life. What am I going to do once I leave school
???
It's a long way off. But before I know it, I'll be in year 12. And I'll have to make the big decision. What is my life going to be like?
I can't picture myself actually going to uni at this stage. I know I will, but I can't see my self there.
I see myself out in the country. Riding. Nothing Else.
I don't want to be a farmer though. I don't want to be one of the farmers who just spend all day fixing and plowing etcetera.
I can picture my self in the country.
Not the city.
But I don't know how I'll make a living in the country.
It's so conusing.
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Feelings
Are feelings a gift?
Do they truly help us?
I mean, If we didn't feel, could we make actual choices, or would it just be like ,"Oh, I'll kill that guy!"
But then, what if it was like, "Do I want a meat pie, or a sausage roll?" how could we choose. I mean, personally, I would go for the sausage roll, because I fell that they're better.
ANYWAY I've g2g
Seeya
Do they truly help us?
I mean, If we didn't feel, could we make actual choices, or would it just be like ,"Oh, I'll kill that guy!"
But then, what if it was like, "Do I want a meat pie, or a sausage roll?" how could we choose. I mean, personally, I would go for the sausage roll, because I fell that they're better.
ANYWAY I've g2g
Seeya
Friday, September 11, 2009
Fear
Fear is the hidden adrenaline that drives a human to the brink of insanity. The storm of fear rocks you back and forwards until you cannot cope with any more and you finally lay down in a hole and die.
It is also what lets us live. When we smell fear from our own bodies it can drive us to defeat it. How people do it is different.
Some, defeat it by completing the task which is scaring them.
Others, run away, hide. We call these people cowerds.
At the moment, my fear is a tingling sensationg I get in my stomach every time the jump goes higher. I feel it down my spine and through my stomach. It drives me to get over the jump.
I am one of the people who want to complete the task to defeat the fear. I defeat it by getting over the height and then realising that I can jump that.
For others, their fear might be losing their job, dying from cancer, going poorly in the HSC, death (full stop).
All of the above are reasons to fear, do not judge some one because they are afraid of something that you find simple.
A small boy tells his mother, 'May I sleep with you, because I am afraid of the dark?' His mother does not think him weak because of this, she thinks him sweet.
A grown man tells his mother, 'May I stay with you because I am afraid of sleeping alone in my house?' His mother thinks he is weak.
May I ask you how the little boy is any different to the grown man? They are still the same person, just grown up.
People are afraid of what's different, It's a fact of life. A mentally disturbed person is afraid of the "normal" people, the "normal" people are afraid of the mentally disturbed. We're all just running in circles.
We think of fear as a bad thing, something that we don't need. But don't you think sometimes it's what drives people to change?
If I told you right now that you were dumb. And you belived me. You would be scared of being dumb. You would then try being smarter, so that if I told you again, you could happily and truth fully say , 'I am not dumb.'
Yes, that is what fear is; the driving force.
It is also what lets us live. When we smell fear from our own bodies it can drive us to defeat it. How people do it is different.
Some, defeat it by completing the task which is scaring them.
Others, run away, hide. We call these people cowerds.
At the moment, my fear is a tingling sensationg I get in my stomach every time the jump goes higher. I feel it down my spine and through my stomach. It drives me to get over the jump.
I am one of the people who want to complete the task to defeat the fear. I defeat it by getting over the height and then realising that I can jump that.
For others, their fear might be losing their job, dying from cancer, going poorly in the HSC, death (full stop).
All of the above are reasons to fear, do not judge some one because they are afraid of something that you find simple.
A small boy tells his mother, 'May I sleep with you, because I am afraid of the dark?' His mother does not think him weak because of this, she thinks him sweet.
A grown man tells his mother, 'May I stay with you because I am afraid of sleeping alone in my house?' His mother thinks he is weak.
May I ask you how the little boy is any different to the grown man? They are still the same person, just grown up.
People are afraid of what's different, It's a fact of life. A mentally disturbed person is afraid of the "normal" people, the "normal" people are afraid of the mentally disturbed. We're all just running in circles.
We think of fear as a bad thing, something that we don't need. But don't you think sometimes it's what drives people to change?
If I told you right now that you were dumb. And you belived me. You would be scared of being dumb. You would then try being smarter, so that if I told you again, you could happily and truth fully say , 'I am not dumb.'
Yes, that is what fear is; the driving force.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Sorry, I know u missed me
I KNOW U MISSED ME!
Hey, Look, I'm sorry to all my fellow readers out there who have missed me, I mean, seriously, I am entertaining.
I'm now going into my third term of Highschool! I KNOW! I'm practically...well...old!
And so, the thing I'm thinking about today is: (dadada!)
Do I want to go back to school?
I mean, It's fun and all, and I get to see my friends...blablablah. But, well you know, it's SCHOOL! All the learning, and the writing and the well the annoying people. The people who just won't leave you alone and then when they do, it's only because you screeched at them and told them that you need your OWN time.
And also, I've got other interests out side of school. And when I'm at school, I don't get to do them. I mean, I don't get time to do them. And, I can't keep, say a HORSE there can I? No, that would be stupid because there are no stables.
And I don't get to go home every weekend to do them. And so then, well I feel I miss out on a fair bit. Sometimes I think I should be homeschooled and just choose say riding as my career and then just be a fantastic rider...who's anti-social and dumb.
And then there's the social side to school. I mean, there's the friends, and the guys (oohlala) lol. And, so I guess sometimes it's worth it, giving up my other interests for a while so that I can have a better education (barf, My parents are practically making me their age!) and well, the friends ( and boys.)
Hey, Look, I'm sorry to all my fellow readers out there who have missed me, I mean, seriously, I am entertaining.
I'm now going into my third term of Highschool! I KNOW! I'm practically...well...old!
And so, the thing I'm thinking about today is: (dadada!)
Do I want to go back to school?
I mean, It's fun and all, and I get to see my friends...blablablah. But, well you know, it's SCHOOL! All the learning, and the writing and the well the annoying people. The people who just won't leave you alone and then when they do, it's only because you screeched at them and told them that you need your OWN time.
And also, I've got other interests out side of school. And when I'm at school, I don't get to do them. I mean, I don't get time to do them. And, I can't keep, say a HORSE there can I? No, that would be stupid because there are no stables.
And I don't get to go home every weekend to do them. And so then, well I feel I miss out on a fair bit. Sometimes I think I should be homeschooled and just choose say riding as my career and then just be a fantastic rider...who's anti-social and dumb.
And then there's the social side to school. I mean, there's the friends, and the guys (oohlala) lol. And, so I guess sometimes it's worth it, giving up my other interests for a while so that I can have a better education (barf, My parents are practically making me their age!) and well, the friends ( and boys.)
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Repeat that Please? I don't understand!
WHAT'S WRONG WITH NOT KNOWING AN AnSWER???
Sometimes (actually alot of times) people expect you to know something, even though, unless your some supernatural sort of person who can know things without being taught them or told them or have had some sort of teaching used on you to implant the information in your brain! Okay, sometimes peole don't pay attention. But seriously, why do people (i.e. parents) always expect you to know something when they have'nt taught you it, your school hasn't taught you it, some random guy who lives on the street near the corner shop SURE hasn't taught you it! Who do they think taught you the thing? A ghost??? And once you don't know the answer either one of two things can happen, and mainly the second thing happens:
1. They blame the school saying "Oh that school!!! What do they teach you these days? How to read??? You're in highschool!!! You should of learned that in well, pre-school!!!"
Or the second thing:
2. They will blame you for not listening/not paying attention/sleeping whilst they were teaching you it/not telling them that you didn't know that (even though you just told them) and finally, my favorite, not having a long enough attention span to take in the information (even though you DO and they simply just HAVN'T TAUGHT YOU IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Why do people expect you to know E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G!!!!!!!!!
Sometimes (actually alot of times) people expect you to know something, even though, unless your some supernatural sort of person who can know things without being taught them or told them or have had some sort of teaching used on you to implant the information in your brain! Okay, sometimes peole don't pay attention. But seriously, why do people (i.e. parents) always expect you to know something when they have'nt taught you it, your school hasn't taught you it, some random guy who lives on the street near the corner shop SURE hasn't taught you it! Who do they think taught you the thing? A ghost??? And once you don't know the answer either one of two things can happen, and mainly the second thing happens:
1. They blame the school saying "Oh that school!!! What do they teach you these days? How to read??? You're in highschool!!! You should of learned that in well, pre-school!!!"
Or the second thing:
2. They will blame you for not listening/not paying attention/sleeping whilst they were teaching you it/not telling them that you didn't know that (even though you just told them) and finally, my favorite, not having a long enough attention span to take in the information (even though you DO and they simply just HAVN'T TAUGHT YOU IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Why do people expect you to know E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G!!!!!!!!!
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Tell or Not?
I'm CONFUSED!
If you find out that something bads going to happen to a friend, something that they may or may not want to know is going to happen to them, should you tell them??? I mean honestly, if you find out something, that's going to happen to a friend, would you tell them??? I think it's times like that that you're supposed to put yourself in the other persons shoes (metaphorically!) and ask yourself, if you were that person, would you want to know before it happened? Or would you want to wait, and just let it come by, and not start the grieving process before it happens.
The thing about it is, that it's never the same answer ALL the time, it always changes depending on whether something can be done about it or not. And sometimes, even if something can be done, sometimes people just don't want to know. They just want the thing (the problem) to come by on it's own time, and let him/herself deal with it, AFTER it's happened.
That's one of the reasons lifes so confusing; YOU CAN'T READ MINDS!
If you find out that something bads going to happen to a friend, something that they may or may not want to know is going to happen to them, should you tell them??? I mean honestly, if you find out something, that's going to happen to a friend, would you tell them??? I think it's times like that that you're supposed to put yourself in the other persons shoes (metaphorically!) and ask yourself, if you were that person, would you want to know before it happened? Or would you want to wait, and just let it come by, and not start the grieving process before it happens.
The thing about it is, that it's never the same answer ALL the time, it always changes depending on whether something can be done about it or not. And sometimes, even if something can be done, sometimes people just don't want to know. They just want the thing (the problem) to come by on it's own time, and let him/herself deal with it, AFTER it's happened.
That's one of the reasons lifes so confusing; YOU CAN'T READ MINDS!
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Next Year
Okay, you see, the thing is, I just finished primary school, I've left all my friends (well most of them anyway...) I should be sad right? That's what normal kids are at this stage, they're sad. 'Cos they're not gonna see their friends anymore (or at least as much.) But the thing is, I'm not sad. In fact, I'm the opposite, I'm happy. I was one of the most popular kids at my school, everyone talked to me, I was never bullied, I actually enjoyed school (apart from maths, science, library...) But like, one of my friends got hold of my number and was texting me, and I didn't want her too, I just wanted her to be quiet and go live her life, and not dwell in the past. And that's what I am...at least to her, I'm the past.
Anyway, I'm actually looking for to high school, I think it will be fun...At least, I hope it will be fun. Why am I SOOOOOOOO weird??? I should be DREADING year 7 and inviting my friends over EVERY SINGLE DAY just to see them. Even if we've got nothing to talk about...I SHOULD BE! I'm like what two weeks into the holidays and who have invited over? NO-ONE!!! Instead I stay at home, doing nothing.
i SHOULD BE SAD! Shouldn't i?
Anyway, I'm actually looking for to high school, I think it will be fun...At least, I hope it will be fun. Why am I SOOOOOOOO weird??? I should be DREADING year 7 and inviting my friends over EVERY SINGLE DAY just to see them. Even if we've got nothing to talk about...I SHOULD BE! I'm like what two weeks into the holidays and who have invited over? NO-ONE!!! Instead I stay at home, doing nothing.
i SHOULD BE SAD! Shouldn't i?
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